Stay alone

Huh... exam is over.

The moment i entered the living room, i thrown my school bag aside. Started to settle down. Nothing inside my head, desperately to stay empty, still and stunt. Fully enjoyed the relief gained after the exam. No burden, no pressure, no crowded people around. Just me, myself.

I love the feel. In fact, im addicted to it. Early morning when wake up, i can just sit around the staircase, think of nothing. Appreciate the morning silence, to be alone. Time pass easily when im in "coma". 5 minutes passed, 10 minutes...... still coulnd't pull myself out. Sentimentally attached to the sensation and peacefulness.

In this world, due to technology advancement, many sounds were created. Especially in town, we are living in those sound polution environment. So i do teasure even one minute silence i have, be alone myself, or sometime just think without constrain. Completely pull myself out of the reality.

Is worth for you to at least spend few minutes, simply listen to your inner voice. You may understand what i trying to explain here. You will love it.

Exam nightmare

During younger day, purpose of schooling is meant for sitting the exam. I do curious, how incredible my little brain can input so many stuffs within a short period. I tend to ignore the reason behind of study. For me, memorize is the only way to pass the exam. Had "pre-printed" in my head. I hardly understand what factor of biology topic, chemistry chain reaction bla bla bla, By using strong memory effort, i passed my exam for the past 10 years.

I realise that, memorize can only work on those "fact" topics, but for sure not a language. I took up Japanese course just for interest lately. Whereby language itself do has exam both in writing and conversation. My old thought had failed me this. Learing by memorizing one by one doesn't work. Language needs a speak out.

With my worn out brain (10 years older compare to school age), i got to learn by hard the way to convey a phrase, express feeling. Gradually, i appreciate the "understanding" is actually more useful than memorizing. By understand, you can automatically apply when necessary. Situation by situation, case by case.

Haha..., anyway, my nightmare of exam is gonna come soon. I still couldn't get rid of the pressure for "not fully memorize" the whole book. Kind of trauma to me. Nevertheless, i shall find a new method to ease it, sleeping perhaps haha........ :)

Office "Worm"

Seniority, laziness, selfish and take it for granted worker = Office worm !

I don't mind sometime work cause me tension. Is worth it, at least. A kind of a sacrifice for your job in order to feed you. Nevertheless, pressures causing by stupid human behaviours, that drive me insane.

In working environment, is unavoidable that we oblige to interacting with others. To handling projects, sharing tasks, bearing responsibilities or what not, we do sometimes give and take for certain reasons. But that this "worm" in my office, almost causing me sigh every minutes i step in. Mysteriously i will find my desk get mess up. Heavy loaded job been throw in your in tray without being notify. Previous lunch box can just lying down the dustbin surrounded by a team of ant and cockroaches. Yiak !!! Is disgusting ! Are these people having mentally disorder? Memory malfunction? They couldn't even figure out the commence sense just to pamper their own selves with laziness.

A "worm" would initially penetrate your kind hearted by seeking your help. When several times you have been doing the same job, you are gone! The job get silently "transferred" under your responsibility. Isn't it sigh? You become obligated to do their job with no benefit. The "worm" i know normally carrying a pity look. In fact, acting as a secret agent for bosses to spy other workers. They type "minority reports", transmitting gossips, kill of others who block their path just to survive or to secure their image. They could even transform to a politician, deliberately setting up "traps" for you to step in.

Will they ever notice people tend to run away from them? Boycott them? At least, at this moment the one i know still blur. Living in their own dream thinking that is other fault by treating them the bad way. Inches thick face they have by ignoring others hints.

Hello..... Please wake up! Would it be too shameful for youngsters to point out your mistake in later day? At least, i would rather dig the hole to jump in if I'm in that kind of dilemma.

Toe Watcher

Woman feel shy, not an issue.
Man feel shy, is kind of funny.

Intuitively, woman is a shy gender. But if a man with the same character, or even more critical in this "illness", that is interesting.

I bump into a guy whenever in gym. Politely i will just acknowledge his "existence" with a smile. Towards almost everyone i treat them the same way. Well, unless for those falls under "super ego" category, that is a different story.

This guy is cute and charm. I presume he is friendly since others said so. Then i started to approach him for a word. But the moment he talks, weird things happened. He tend to watch his toe all the time! Haha... Is he too admire his pedicure or our face is far worst than the little 10 toes. His reaction stops me to go future into the conversation. I can barely say: "Hi!" or "Morning!". That's it. Dialogue ended. For many times I've been trying so hard to convey my regards, i got the same response. I started to wonder. What's wrong with him?

Finally i realised that he is introvert. His face will turn apple red when female talks to him. No eye contact at all! Whole conversation he will be looking at his toe. Really funny. For me, a guy should be more confidence in terms of leading a chat. Perhaps he is exceptional coz too shy.

In fact, he is a nice and sweet person. Maybe he had a hard time before in receiving high voltage "electric wave" from all those girls crazy for his handsome face. Hihi... by looking to his toe he can avoid it, i think. :p

Until today, i still can't get through his "barrier", which stopping me to transmit my message other than "Hi and Morning"!!! I couldn't know the reason behind unless i should wear a shade to get rid of it. Hahaha........

"Professional"... Liar

Lie, seems to become a fundamental element in nowadays relationship hence difficult to avoid. Each of us trying so hard to hide under a mask in order to "secure" our relationship. Is it an excuse to "protect" our ownselves? Perhaps, not a suprise.

Do "perfect" lie ever exist? I doubt.

I met a couple lately. Married for several years. From others point of view, well can consider a lovely couple. Is it the truth behind? No in fact, as they are "professional" liar indeed. I was shocked to understand that the hubby, keeping another woman just to "supersede" the wife. Wow, "supersede" ! I heard the man justified himself as a loyal and non-playboy type infront of us. Huh... What a good liar !

With this incident, my curiosity drived me to asked the wife."Do you believe your hubby's loyalty?" Instantly she replied:"Sure! I trust him. With his features, none of the girl would have interest in him. Moreover, he love me so much.". I went wordless the moment i heard.

I started to ask myself, now who is the liar? The husband? Expert in hiding all those "criminal" evidences so the wife never suspect? Or, the wife bluffing herself that the man still in sincere and loyal. By this path, lying each other or worst; their ownselves, living in the relationship of no heart present, they hold their marriage for 7 years! Will it be a nightmare whereby a true liar sleeping next to you every night, telling flowery words every minutes? Is it too shame to admit that a "lovely" couple actually diverted? Only both of them know the answer.

"Professional" liar do exist, i realised. But not a "perfect" lie!

Sooner or later, truth will reveal. Is kind of pain to get hurt by your love one. The feeling merely kills you. As people willing to end their life after knowing the truth behind. Conceivably, no one can actually 'cover" a lie with their whole lifetime.

Is the matter of how you address the issue, not to evate. Solve it before is too late. Forgivess is always the reward for being sincere and honest. The payoff for lying is gigantic. You might lie to the whole world, concealing the dark side of the truth. But never to your heart as it will tells you, YOU ARE A LIAR !

Soul mate...

A best friend of mine mentioned once, soul always travel in pairs. What a beautiful phrase i have ever heard. Simultaneouly, i questioned :" How am i gonna identify whether someone is it my soul mate????" I started to confuse.

A smile from her once she heard my question. "Dear, your heart will trigger when you meet THE ONE!"

THE ONE, is it a person who directly speak into your heart without your single word?

THE ONE, is it a person who actually care you more than themselves?

THE ONE, is it a person who sincerely look into your eyes and know what you feel?

Perhaps, that is SOUL MATE.

Fortunate one, they meet theirs. Holding up each other hands, heart to heart, soul by soul walking through their whole life. But unfortunate, your soul mate might already find others. Well, make a wish. Do let them fly to their beloved. Do hope they are cheerfully surrounded everyday.

So, have you ever meet one? Im still waiting for someone to knock the door inside my deepest heart. Maybe through someone eyes i will find it, so do you!

May god bless all of you! :)